Your daughter will inevitably resent you in the short-term, but the long-term benefits for both of you are undoubtedly worth it. A study in the United Kingdom proves that lofty expectations are synonymous with successful young women: “Behind every successful woman is a nagging mom? Teenage girls more likely to succeed if they have pushy mothers.”
More nagging results in less failing.
University of Essex research indicates that when mothers demand a lot from their daughters, their daughters are more frequently able to avoid the elements in life that are detrimental to success. For women, some of these things include teen pregnancy, abandoning academics after high school, and committing to years of low-wage employment or unemployment altogether. The leader of the study was Ph.D. candidate Ericka G. Rascon-Ramirez, and over 15,000 British 13 and 14-year-olds were researched over a decade.
Resentment equates to effective parenting.
As alluded to, this parental strategy will almost certainly result in countless scoffs, eye rolls, tantrums, and door slams, but rest assured that the sour juice is still worth the squeeze. There are alternative methods out there (check out the free eBook How to Raise Successful Kids: Advice From a Stanford Dean, a Navy SEAL Commander, and Mark Zuckerberg’s Dad), but, as can be seen, the progressive-nagging technique is particularly effective pertaining to teenage girls in particular: “In many cases, we succee[d] in doing what we believ[e is] more convenient for us, even when this [is] against our parents’ will. . . . But no matter how hard we tried to avoid our parents’ recommendations, it is likely that they ended up influencing [our] choices.”
Nagging without moderation is truly the way to go.
This definitely seems counter-intuitive and like you’d be going too far with the philosophy, but this simply isn’t the case. For example, if you harp on your daughter to enroll in university and avoid teenage or tween pregnancy, they are far more likely to accomplish at least one of these feats than if you focused your nagging on only one of the two topics. So, it really is better to nag about a large number of things as opposed to a more reasonable amount; in this instance, it is wise to fight the urge to be kind! To put it another way, heed the words of a Scary Mommy: “Sure, having a healthy sense of self-esteem and believing that you have options is great, but not getting pregnant just because you ‘don’t want to hear it’ is fine with us, too. Whatever. Just make it not be so.”
What’s more, there’s no reason to believe that the same philosophy doesn’t apply to young males. So, for those of you with teenage or tween-age sons out there—don’t let them off the hook either!