Well, here is an interesting strategy for you to use next time you’re on a date. I’ve tried it twice now. The first time was a little awkward and I never saw that girl again.
But the second time…wow!
I came across this idea from a professional psychologist named Arthur Aron, who 20 years ago developed an intriguing technique to make 2 people fall in love.
It was founded on a hunch, but his research proved it to be incredibly successful.
The most tantalizing detail about this experiment: 6 months later, the two participants were married!
Read on to find out what the technique is and how you can use it on your next date.
Arthur Aron’s simple psychological trick to make you fall in love
This is going to sound a little awkward at first, but if you go with it, you’ll develop a connection that neither one of you are prepared for.
What you need to do is stare at each other for 4 minutes, without breaking eye contact.
When I tried this, there was a lot of nervous smiling before we settled in. But once we became comfortable, it blew us both away.
I’ve heard the eyes were the windows to the soul, but the real crux of it was not just I was really seeing someone, but that someone was really seeing me. I felt a mixture of vulnerability, wonder and awe.
The technique doesn’t just involve staring though. It also involves asking these 36 tried and true questions.
The questions are quite remarkable as they go from boring and general to intimate and meaningful.
In fact, much of the questions are brilliantly constructed to create interpersonal closeness.
The questions encourage what Dr. Aron calls “self expansion”, as you are required to answer what you find appealing about each other.
Here are some examples of these questions:
“Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner, a total of five items” (Question 22), and “Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time saying things you might not say to someone you’ve just met” (Question 28).
According to the study, these questions coupled with staring for 4 minutes give a high likelihood that a strong emotional bond will be formed.
Because biology matters. Our pheromones and hormones do a lot of work behind the scenes.
Staring into each other eyes generates trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive.
So next time you meet someone new, or you’re a on a date, try staring into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. You might be surprised with what happens!