For 15 years, I struggled figuring out how to bring empowerment into my life. I was riddled with fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of being exposed as an imposter.
Tired of living imprisoned by my own inaction, I wanted to learn how to live more confidently. What I found was a black hole of information. There were the common slogans like, “Just take action,” and “Fake it till you make it.” While these sometimes worked, it didn’t get to the heart of what I really wanted.
The people that I sat back and admired for their sense of control and action weren’t just faking it. They were living in a confident manner that was natural and authentic. When things weren’t going right, they
Through this four-year journey, I’ve discovered three lifestyle qualities that anyone can apply to maintain a level of confidence that feels real and authentic. Bringing the momentum necessary to continue sprinting towards your goals when everyone is telling you to turn around.
Here are the 3 qualities you need:
1. Become the Master of Your Thoughts
Do you realize how many thoughts go through your head the second you wake up to when you go to bed? Experts say the average person has around 60,000 thoughts every day!
What’s troubling is 80% of these thoughts are negative. That is telling yourself 48,0000 times each day why you can’t have what you deserve. Would you hang out with someone who continuously told you how you weren’t good enough?
You are often the tormentor of your own life. These negative conversations in your brain become self-fulfilling prophecies because they start making you believe that you aren’t good enough for your deepest desires. That leads to more negative thoughts, and the cycle goes on.
The only way to live confidently is to start believing in yourself. That requires you to become the master of your thoughts. You have to start questioning every negative idea that runs through your head. When a thought about how you can’t have something shows up, you need to respond, “How can I make it happen today instead of waiting for the perfect time?”
Over time this continuous questioning will transform your thinking. Not just by making you think positively, but looking at the opportunities in everything that crosses your path.
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau
2. Delivering Your Power Through Your Body
What makes a firefighter run into a burning building or finally walking into your boss’s office to ask for the raise you deserve is a physical action. There is a point where you push past the thoughts and uneasy feeling and move forward. Walking through life confidently is not just a metaphor. It is the absolute truth.
Too often people believe that confidence is just a mental game. That one can just think themselves into action. The truth is that you must rely on a physical power to move you into action. The body must honor what the mind often can’t justify.
Your body is literally a channel of power that is necessary to live confidently. When that moment comes where you have to cross the line into the unknown, one needs that jolt of energy that makes you say, “Go for it!”
Yet most people abuse their bodies almost as much as their minds. Between the lack of sleep, poor eating habits and sedentary lifestyle, most bodies have a deficiency of power within them.
Look at two of your friends, one that lives an active lifestyle and the other the spends most of their time on the couch. Which one has a more positive mindset? Who is taking more action in their lives? My guess is the active friend is taking more action towards their goals.
Your mind and body work together in the pursuit to stand in your highest potential. If you aren’t taking care of your body it will be hard to take the physical action necessary to achieve your goals.
“What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” – Eleanor Roosevelt
3. Trusting the Process
Confidence isn’t just about mindset and action. There has to be a trusting nature that lies inside; trusting your abilities, trusting the process used to achieve your goals and trusting that you can survive failure.
It’s tough to believe in the process when nothing seems to be going right. Most people give up too quickly believing the strategy, their abilities or local geography is preventing them from reaching their goals. The truth is that they never trusted the process and gave up right before their breakthrough was coming.
The person that lives confidently is great at letting go of what they can’t control. They understand that they can only control their actions, so that is what they lead with. They understand that if they keep taking action, no matter how many times they get knocked down, that their desired results will be achieved.
Incorporating these three qualities to my lifestyle changed how I showed up in the world. Mastering my thoughts, taking care of my body to generate my physical power and trusting the process of continuous action, has allowed me to achieve more than ever before. What use to take me a year to complete can usually be done in three months.
Do I ever curl up in a ball and hide in the face of adversity? Yes. I am human like everyone else. But I no longer have to “fake it till I make it.” Instead, I can continue to push forward as I am in a manner that most consider to be courageous.
How do you keep your confidence level high? Please leave your thoughts below!